The Terror of Chocolate
by jankitty13
Summary: It's Valentine's day at Alice Academy! Know what that means? It means boy are on the run for their lives! Luckily this year will be different. Or is it? Read and find out!


Happy (early) Valentine's Day, folks!

And Happy Chinese New Year as well, for those who celebrate it (yours truly included)!

I do not own Gakuen Alice

* * *

It was Valentine's Day. Do you know what that means?

For ordinary boys, it means lots of chocolates and treats from pretty girls of all ages, preferably someone they like/love.

For boys with alices, it means lots of runaway plans followed by fragile alliances as well as plenty of bathroom trips.

Yes, Valentine's Day had arrived to Alice Academy.

* * *

"So what's the plan?" Tsubasa Andou crouched down next to Akira Tonouchi, who was currently studying their battle plans. "How do we stay away from the enemy this year?"

Megane looked at Tsubasa and coughed, "By enemies, do you mean the girls coming after us with chocolates? They're pretty harmless-unless they're using the chocolates as a weapon."

"No." Tsubasa held a solemn expression on his face. "By enemy, I mean the chocolates-they're what we have to look out for."

"So you're running away from Misaki-chan, too?" Tono poked fun at Tsubasa's logic. "She is your girlfriend, so it makes sense for her to bake chocolates today-especially those filled with l _ove_."

"Shut up! I love Misaki, but her cooking sucks! I just don't want to tell her that!" The last time he had her cooking, he had almost been poisoned to death!

"True enough." Tono had tasted her cooking only once (by threat). He was lucky enough to have been into a coma for two days until he woke up. After that, his stomach had never been the same.

Megane cleared his throat. "Look, can we get back to the point? We're trying to stay clear of chocolates this year, remember? I don't want a flower on my head again." He looked at Tsubasa and Tono. "Unless you guys want to end up with a snake hand and pig nose again?"

Tono and Tsubasa furiously shook their heads. No way were they going through that again!

"Don't worry, we're safe this year." Tono smiled grimly. "Luckily, I hired us some help. It cost a lot of my money, but it's worth it." His eyes held a steely glint in them.

"It's up to them to protect us!"

* * *

Natsume Hyuuga stood aloof near the entrance of Class B's homeroom. His eyes held nothing but contempt for the despicable day where nothing but utter, annoying nonsense occurred every year. "Tch, this is so stupid. Why am I even doing this again?" Oh, wait, it was because he'd become a target of the annoying nonsense if he didn't chip in. (Anyone remember the love potion incident?) "How annoying."

"KYAHHHH! NATSUME-KUN IS HEREEEEEE!"

Oh, look, it's already started. What a pain. Natsume casually flicked out his hand towards the annoying sound. A horribly burnt smell came about.

"KYAHHHHH! OUR HAIR IS ON FIRRREEEE!"

That took care of that. Now he had to prepare himself for the other hordes of what the world had the misfortune of carrying: fan girls desperate to give "love chocolate" to their "love".

Tch. What a pain.

* * *

Ruka Nogi nervously glanced back at the hallway behind him. He had a reason to be scared; after all, today was "that day", where boys in Alice Academy could potentially die. Not from poison. Not by murder. And certainly not by fire. But by-

"EEK! RUKA-KUUUUNNNNNN!"

-fan girls. Specifically, fan girls who shoved chocolates into the mouths of innocent, unsuspecting boys.

For goodness sakes, some of these girls were old enough to be his mother! What was the world coming to?

Luckily, he was prepared for this. Ruka quickly whipped out his whistle and blew into it.

 _TWEET!_

A bunch of animals answered the call-cats, dogs, birds, lions, giraffes, a bear. Even his pet rabbit, Usagi, made an appearance. Ruka pointed at the horde of fan girls.

"Sic 'em, guys!"

With a glint in their determined, beady eyes, and Usagi leading the way, the animals obeyed.

"EEEEKKKKKKKK!"

There. Maybe next time, they'll know better than to attack (?) an innocent 12-year-old with chocolates, accursed candy they were.

* * *

Hotaru Imai waited patiently at the entrance of the boys' dormitory. She was armed with her trusty Baka Gun, as well as her Swan Scooter, in case she needed to make a quick getaway.

"Hump, this better be worth it, considering just how much money Baka-Tono paid me." If this didn't go they way it was planned…(Anyone hear money sounds?)

She put on her X-ray goggles, and scanned the entire surrounding area. "Ah-ha!" She managed to locate one of the fan girls hiding behind a bush.

 _BAKA!_

The aforementioned fan girl fainted dead away, hit by Hotaru's Baka Gun, Version 20. Her terrified friend leaped down from a tree to rescue her-

 _BAKA!_

-only to be met with the same fate.

Hotaru blew the smoke away from the Baka Gun's mouth like a cowgirl. "I see you all," she announced to the still air. "If you all value your lives, then run away while you can. Otherwise-", she notched her gun with a satisfying _Click!_ sound, "-you're going down."

"…"

Silence reigned for a minute before chaos erupted. Everyone popped out of the hiding places and immediately began running away, fearing for the lives. They did not want to feel the wrath of Hotaru's Baka Gun.

Not that it mattered. Since she shot them all down anyway.

 _BAKA! BAKA!_

* * *

"Well, I told you that we were going to be safe this year." Tono walked back to the boys' dorm with a confident stride. He didn't stop smiling. "Paying off Natsume, Ruka-pyon, and Lady Hotaru was a good plan, if I do say so myself."

Tsubasa walked next to him frowning. "Uh, are you sure they didn't have ulterior motives for helping us? This is Natsume and Hotaru that we are talking about, after all." (Wait, what happened to Ruka-pyon?)

"If they had any, it was probably about wanting to escape what happened last year. After all, your enemy's enemy is your friend." Tono dismissed any concerns about the day's events. "Anyway, let's tuck in for the night, and the day will end faster for us. Hm, what's this?"

He spotted a bag on the windowsill of the window next to door. He picked it up, examining the contents. _Chocolate._

Tono shuddered and dropped the bag. "Hey, Tsubasa, you know a good place to throw this out?"

"I-I don't think we should do that." Wait, was Tsubasa's voice _trembling_? Tono turned around to see Tsubasa and Megane glancing at a piece of paper (who forgot about Megan?). Now that he thought about, that paper was next to the bag of chocolates.

"Why not?"

Tsubasa wordlessly handed the paper over to Tono to read. Tono glanced at the paper, took a double-take, and glanced at it again. The blood drained from his face as he read the contents:

 _To Baka-Tono, Hage*, and Glasses,_

 _As a token of my appreciation for employing my services, please eat these chocolates. If you do not eat them, be warned: these chocolates were prepared by Mikan herself, and I will be very disappointed if you do not eat them._

 _Signed,_

 _Hotaru Imai._

* * *

"Hey, Hotaru?"

Mikan Sakura sat up on her bed. "You've been smiling a lot today. Did something happen?" she tilted her head in curiosity.

"It's nothing that concerns you, Mikan." Hotaru continued to polish her Baka Gun until it gleamed. "Let's just say I made a lot of profit today." Her lips curled up.

"Oh." Mikan perked up as she thought of something. "I hope Tsubasa-sempai and the others enjoy the chocolates I made."

Hotaru continued smiling and blew imaginary dust off her Baka Gun. "Oh, I'm sure they will."

* * *

*For those of you who don't know, _Hage_ means Baldy, Hotaru's nickname for Tsubasa.

The next chapter of _Battle of the Fathers_ should be up soon. Stay Tuned!

(P.S.: Leave behind a review?)


End file.
